


Always Keep Moving Forward

by Lexys23



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-09 11:20:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16448957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexys23/pseuds/Lexys23
Summary: The chapter title is from the song Within You by Ray LaMontagne.The story title is from Vivir Mi Vida by Mark Anthony. It’s originally a Spanish song.





	1. The Answer Is Within You

**Author's Note:**

> The chapter title is from the song Within You by Ray LaMontagne.
> 
> The story title is from Vivir Mi Vida by Mark Anthony. It’s originally a Spanish song.

 

Erin Lindsay was pretty content with her life at twenty-five. She had a career she liked, a nice home, great friends. The only thing she had that made her rethink things was her boyfriend of two years, Chad Hartman. He wasn’t the greatest boyfriend. He was the person she was before she met Voight and turned her life around. Her friends would ask her why she stayed with him, but she didn’t want to break up with him. She felt a connection with him. She could relate to him.

Chad Hartman was an ass. That was all that could be said about him. He didn’t treat Erin the way he was suppose to. He was always drinking. He didn’t have a job, and lived with Erin. He didn’t respect anyone. He was having sex with other women, while in a relationship with Erin.

Erin and Chad were lying down on their bed, in each other’s arms. It was a rare moment when Chad was sober and acting like a decent person. They weren’t doing anything except enjoying the silence.

There was loud knocking on the door. Erin stood up to answer, not before giving him a kiss on the lips.  She opened the door and frowned when she saw police officers. They gave her a piece of paper; she knew what it was before reading it. It was a warrant to search their home. She stood there, frowning, as she watched the officers search their things.

“Chad!” she called, looking at her room door, but there was no answer. “Chad!”

One of the policemen entered the room and it was empty. He turned to her, and asked her where Chad was. She answered truthfully, telling him she did not know. She asked him what was happening, but he didn’t tell her.

Groaning, she took out her phone and called a number she knew so well. “Voight, there are officers in my home, can you tell me why?”

Voight told her about Chad’s friends, about the drugs, the selling, and the smuggling. Erin was shocked. She moved to sit down. She thought she knew Chad, but he had secrets she didn’t know about. That was when she realized she was better off without him.

**Chicago PD**

Erin was sitting on the floor. She was staring at the ceiling, as she counted the seconds. Chad had gotten four years in prison. His time had been shortened when he gave up his friends, and their partners. Erin broke up with him when the police had found them. She didn’t even tell him face-to-face. He didn’t deserve it, so she told the officer to tell him it was over.

Erin took a deep breath as she stood up and looked at the sink. The pregnancy test was there, and she could clearly see the two lines. She couldn’t breath. She was freaking out. She couldn’t think. She was pregnant. She was screwed.

Slowly, she stood up and walked to her bed. She stared at the ceiling, as the tears stared to fall down. She couldn’t have a child. Her life was too complicated for a child.

She knew she had to tell Voight. She knew he would know what to do. He would help her. She closed her eyes and quietly started to cry.

**Chicago PD**

Three years had past. Erin had given birth to a girl, Cassidy Ridley Lindsay. Erin loved her daughter. Cassie was like a mini version of Erin.

There was a knock on the door. Erin looked at her daughter, who was making her teddy bear dance, then at the door. Erin answered it and smiled when she saw who was in the other side.

“Cassie, look who’s here,” Erin called, a grin on her face.

The little girl rushed to the door, with a huge smile on her face. “Gwanpa Hanky!” She ran to hug the man, who kneeled down and hugged the little girl.

“Are you being good for mommy?” Voight asked, as he stood up with the girl in his arms.

Cassie nodded enthusiastically. “I good!”

Voight smiled, and looked at Erin. “How are you?”

“Great. This little girl helped with breakfast, didn’t she?” Erin bragged, as they walked to the kitchen.

“You did?” Voight asked Cassie, faking the surprise.

“I elped,” Cassie said shyly.

The three went to the kitchen and sat down. Erin set the plates down and they eat.

“What are you guys doing today?” Voight asked, as he helped Cassie with her food.

“Whatever she wants to do,” Erin answered. It was Erin’s day off, and she was spending it with her daughter.

“Gwanpa Hanky, come wit us,” Cassie pleaded, looking at the man with big sad eyes.

Voight’s own eyes widened, as he looked at Erin for help.

“Cass, Grandpa  _ Hanky _ couldn’t get out of work. Don’t you want to spend the day with your mom?” Erin asked, a small smile on her face.

“Where is daddy?” Cassie asked the adults, who paled at the question.

“Cassie, your father is in a place where bad men were taken,” Voight explained, trying to make her understand.

“Why?” Cassie asked innocently.

Erin looked at her father figure, not knowing what to say. Cassie was just three years old, and they didn’t know how to explain drugs to her. They knew she didn’t know anything. She didn’t even know much about Erin and Voight’s job. All she knew was that they saved people.

“He wasn’t a good guy baby,” Erin told her daughter.

Cassie frowned, but didn’t say anything else. She watched shows and the kids had daddies. She wanted one too.

They finished breakfast, and Voight was getting ready to go to work. He knelt down and kissed the girl’s forehead. “I’ll bring you ice cream after work,” he told her.

Cassie grinned, and nodded, giving the man a huge kiss on his cheek.

Voight waved the Erin and left. His smile wiped out of his face, and walked to his car to go to work.

In the apartment, Erin shook her head. Voight was a huge softy when kids where involved. She looked at her daughter. Erin liked her life. She wouldn’t change it for the world.

“Cassie, lets go get you dressed up so we can go to the park,” she told her daughter, who ran to her room.

Erin followed her, excited to spend the day with her daughter.

 


	2. I Wanna Be There For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, There For You by Flyleaf.

 

 

Cassie smiled as she looked up at the ice cream man. Her eyes were wide at the thought of ice cream. Erin grinned, standing behind her, a five-dollar bill in her hands. She already had her ice cream picked out. She was just waiting for her daughter to pick what she wanted.

“Mommy, Uncle Jay an’ Tony wan ice cweam?” the three year old asked her mother. She looked up at her mother with big hazel eyes, and no matter what, Erin couldn’t say no. 

“Adam and Olinsky might want some too,” Erin suggested.

“Uncle Oli?” Cassie asked, her smile getting even bigger.

“We’ll go visit them,” Erin promised, as she pointed at the multiple ice creams. She changed her five-dollar bill for a ten-dollar bill. Once Erin had her change and all the ice cream, Cassie grabbed her mother’s jacket and pulled her to her car. They drove to the department building.

Burgess and Atwater were exiting the building when they arrived to the door. Cassie rushed, giggling to the two officers.

“Kimmy, Kevy!” she exclaimed, raising her arms.

Atwater knelt down and picked the small girl up. “Leavin’?” Cassie asked, as she wrapped her arms around the man’s neck.

“Yes, we need to save people,” Burgess asked, looking at the adorable girl in her partner’s arms.

Cassie pouted, not wanting them to leave. Unlike her mother, she was happy to be around people. Her mother’s team loved the three year old. Cassie was also friends with Diego and Ava Dawson.

“Cass, the ice cream is melting,” Erin called, as she held the ice cream in her arms. Cassie gave Atwater and Burgess one last smile, before having Atwater put her down, and running to her mother. She waved as she entered the building.

“Hey Erin, little Erin,” Sergeant Platt called, slightly creeping Cassie out. She didn’t like how the older last treated Atwater and Burgess.

Erin waved as they went up to their floor.

“Uncle Tony!” Cassie shouted as she ran through the desks.

Dawson grinned, picking the girl up. “Niece Cassie!”

Erin laughed, as she put all the ice cream on her desk. She told the men to get it as she walked to Voight’s office.

“Knock knock,” she called out, as she smiled at her father figure.

“Erin,” he said in surprise. “Is Cassie here?”

“Yeah. She wanted to see her Uncles and Grandpa  _ Hanky _ ,” she mocked, smirking at her sergeant.

He rolled his eyes. He stood up and started to exit his office. They could hear Cassie laughing, as Dawson tickled her. The other men were sitting around, eating their ice cream, and watching them, with a small smile on their faces.

“Gwanpa Hanky, I got ice cweam fo you!” the small girl squealed, running from her uncle’s arms.

“You paid for it? Thank you,” he answered sweetly, causing everyone to grin at the soft side the man was showing.

“It meltin’!” Cassie exclaimed, grabbing the melting ice cream from Erin’s table. They laughed at Cassie’s adorable expression.

Their phone started to ring, signaling the intelligence group that their fun was over and they had to go back to work.

**Chicago PD**

Cassie giggled as her mother took her to watch a movie, Frozen. Cassie had wanted to see it since she saw the snowman in the previews, and Erin couldn’t say no to her daughter.

Cassie jumped in her seat, waiting for the show to start. Erin, who was sitting next to her, was eating popcorn. She loved spending time with Cassie. Laura Dawson would babysit Cassie when she was working, and she didn’t get a lot of free time with her daughter.

“Mommy, can I got Olaf?” Cassie asked her mother, waiting for the film to start.

“Who?” Erin asked, a frown on her face. She had no idea what her daughter was talking about.

Cassie started at her mother with disbelief. She could not believe her mother did not know who Olaf was. “Mommy! Olaf, snowman!” Cassie exclaimed, causing the other parents look at her.

Erin blushed a little. She looked at her daughter, who turned her attention to the big screen, which was showing previews.

**Chicago PD**

Voight was in his office, looking over his paper work. His phone rang, causing him to put his things down. He picked it up and narrowed his eyes, as he listened to the person on the other side.

He hung up the phone and stared at the picture on his desk. The picture was on Cassie’s third birthday party. Cassie was blowing her candles, in Erin’s arms, and he was on the other side of Cassie. He would change the picture after every birthday, but the pictures always had the three of them. The picture he never took down was taken after Cassie’s birth. She was in Erin’s arms, in the hospital. He had never been so proud of his non-biological daughter.

He knew he had to tell her. He just didn’t know how.

**Chicago PD**

“He so cuute!” Cassie exclaimed, hugging the stuffed snowman. They were walking out of the Disney store. The teddy bear was half Cassie’s size.

Erin and Cassie went to her car and drove home, done for the day. Once inside her apartment, she didn’t expect to see Voight sitting down in her kitchen with a beer.

Cassie, always happy to see Voight, ran to him. “Gwanpa Hanky, meed Olaf. Olaf, meed my bestest granpa, Hanky,” she said, shoving the stuffed snowman on his face.

He chuckled and shook the snowman’s hand. Cassie then told him about his day, while Erin watching Voight. She knew something was up. Voight never showed up before her. He always waited until she and Cassie were home. 

“Cass, why don’t you go change for bed, I’ll meet you in the restroom,” Erin told her daughter, looking at Voight in the eye.

Cassie grinned and ran to her room with Olaf in her arms.

“What’s going on?” Erin asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Sit down,” he told her, his voice soft.

Erin did as he said, and waited for him to say what he wanted.

“Chad got out for good behavior,” Voight told her, watching as the woman he saw as a daughter pale right in front of her.

“N-no,” she whispered, not wanting to believe it. She knew he would get out sooner or later, but it was too soon for her.

“Stay here, I’ll go help Cassidy brush her teeth,” he told her, standing up and walked to help his granddaughter.

“Mommy?” Cassie called out, as she sat on her bed, winging her legs. She had on Tigger, footsie pajamas.

“You’re mommy isn’t feeling good. I’ll help you,” he told her, as he led her to the rest room.

“Why?” Cassie asked innocently, as she grabbed the toothbrush.

“Someone who hurt her is back in her life,” Voight said, trying to hide his hate.

“You pwotecd us?” Cassie asked him, looking up at him with her mother’s eyes.

“Always. I will always be here,” he answered.

 


	3. You Were Gonna Come To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Dark Horse by Katy Perry and Juicy J.

Her phone rang after she left Cassie at with Dawson’s wife. She knew he was going to call. It had been three days since Voight had told her Chad was out of prison. He didn’t know about their daughter, and she didn’t want to tell him. She didn’t want him in her life. He had been calling the last three hours, but she never answered.

She entered the police station, and sat at her desk, her phone ringing. She stared at his name. She hadn’t deleted it, and she didn’t know why.

“He’s calling you?” Voight asked, as he looked down at her phone.

Erin nodded. “He won’t stop calling me.”

“You should answer it,” Voight told her.

“Why?” Erin asked, glaring at her father figure.

“I may not like him, but he deserves to know about Cassidy. She deserves to know about her father,” Voight told her, trying to helper make the right choice.

“He doesn’t deserve anything,” Erin told him, angry with the man in front of her.

“Erin,” he tried.

“No! Whose side are you on?”

“Erin, please listen to me,” he pleaded. He  _ hated _ Chad, but he deserved to know about his daughter. “I’m not telling you to be his friend, or even be nice to him, just to tell him he has a daughter and has to prove he had changed if he wants to see her.”

Erin stared at him for a minute before nodding. “I’ll think about it,” she answered, as she looked for a new case.

“He doesn’t deserve you and Cassie,” he told her, before leaving to his desk.

**Chicago PD**

Erin was in Voight’s office alone. It was the only place she could get time alone. Her phone was ringing again, and she was trying to get the courage to answer.

“Chad?” she answered, hesitation written all over her voice.

Her daughter’s father laughed. “Yeah. I’ve been calling all morning.”

“I know. I was working,” she whispered, her hand tightly gripping the phone.

“Listen, Erin,” he started. Hearing him say her name brought out a lot of emotions, not all good. “I was wondering if we could talk, face-to-face.”

“Yeah, okay,” Erin answered, not sure what else to say.

“Great. How does tomorrow night sound?” he asked, his voice full of excitement.

“Okay,” she answered, plainly.

“Same place?”

“Yeah. I have to go.”

“Bye Erin. See you tomorrow,” Chad said, happy about meeting up with her.

“Bye,” she whispered, hanging up. She sat in the room, wondering if it was a good idea. He sounded genuine, something she rarely heard when they were together.

“How was the conversation?” someone asked from behind. She turned and saw Halstead standing there.

“What are you talking about?” Erin asked, turning her back to him.

Halstead smiled behind her. “Come on, I heard the end of the conversation. Who was it?”

“None of your business,” she answered, turning around and glaring at him.

Halstead grinned and walked away. “Voight’s looking for you.”

“Great,” she muttered.

**Chicago PD**

“How was your day?” Erin asked, as she drove herself and Cassie to their home.

Cassie started rambling about her day, of what she did with Diego, and Eva. She told her mother about how she helped Laura Dawson with bread.

“I’m glad you had fun baby,” she said, as she parked in the parking lot. “What do you want for dinner?”

Erin opened the door and Cassie ran in the room.

“Good choice Cass,” Erin teased, as she headed to the kitchen to retrieve her home phone.

“Mommy, Olaf wan pissa,” Cassie exclaimed as she ran out of her room with her teddy bear.

“The snowman wants pizza?” Erin asked, grinning at her daughter. The three year old nodded. ”How any does the snowman want?”

Cassie put the snowman’s mouth and nodded, as if it were really talking to her.

“Fouw,” she answered, her face serious.

Erin smiled at her adorable daughter. “Go wash up. I’ll order.”

Cassie ran to the bathroom and Erin smiled as she heard the faucet turn on.

**Chicago PD**

She was nervous. She hadn’t seen him in four years. Voight was babysitting Cassie. He was taking her to see Frozen, again. Erin smiled, her daughter really loved the movie. She entered the small restaurant and he was the first person she saw.

He was sitting in the table in the right corner. It was their table. Erin never sat there after he went to prison. Erin walked to the table and sat down in front of him. His green eyes locked with her hazel eyes. Neither said a word. They just sat there, in silence for a few minutes.

“I missed you,” he whispered, giving her a small, shy smile.

Erin didn’t answer. She didn’t know what to say. A waitress walked up to them with two plates of food. Erin frowned. She didn’t order anything.

“I ordered for you,” he told her. “I remember what you like.”

“Seriously? What do you want to talk about Chad?” Erin asked, staring at him in disbelief.

“I missed you. The whole time in prison made me think of him much I love you Erin. I want to be with you,” he responded, not looking at her in the eye.

“Why now? Why  _ after _ prison? I gave up on you,” Erin told him, not touching her food.

“I realized I took you for granted. I realized I  _ needed _ you Erin,” he said, his voice getting louder. The frustration getting clearer.

“I  _ don’t _ need you,” Erin responded, glaring at him.

“I said I’m sorry!” he snapped.

“Sorry doesn’t do jack!”

“Ungrateful bitch. I’m trying here! I’m trying to put all we did behind, and forget it,” he said, standing up and towering over her.

“What  _ we _ did? No, what  _ you _ did. You know, I can here thinking you changed. I believed you were a better man, but you didn’t. You’re still the same asshole you’ve always been, and nothing is going to change that!” she snapped, as she grabbed her things and left.

**Chicago PD**

Voight watched his granddaughter sleep. She was sandwiched between a snowman and a lizard. She had made him watch Tangled with her, and she told him she wanted the chameleon.  Once she gave him the big eyes  _ and _ the pout, he knew they were going to buy it.

Cassie made him have a tea party with Olaf and Pascal before her bedtime. He wondered what Erin would say about the lizard.

He heard the front door open and quietly close. He stood up to see how Erin did. He did not expect her to be in tears in the living room. He walked up to her and sat down next to her, wondering what happened.

“I couldn’t tell him,” she whispered, her tears freely falling.

“What did he do?” Voight asked, thinking of ways to hurt Chad.

“I thought he changed. I thought he would be a great father to Cassie. I thought, maybe, just maybe, Chad would be a decent man, and I could fall in love again. I got my hopes up,” she told him.

Voight nodded.

“I’m sorry I’m not strong enough,” she whispered, drying her tears.

“You are. You had a daughter. You raised her by yourself. You’ve been through so much. Not many people can do that,” he told her.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “He doesn’t know about her.”

“He doesn’t deserve to,” he told her.


	4. I Don’t Know What To Believe, Momma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Tonight You’re Perfect by New Politics.

 

“Mommy! I dwaded a doggie fo you,” Cassie exclaimed, as she gave her mother a piece of paper. Erin smiled, and looked at the picture. It looked like her daughter drew a sausage with legs and a tail. There was a circle for the head. The smile on her face grew as she took in the details, there weren’t many.

“I love it baby,” she said, as she put it on the refrigerator. She bend down and kissed her daughter’s head.

Cassie grinned and ran back to continue coloring.

Erin sat down with her coffee and watched her. She never thought her life would be so great with a daughter. She wouldn’t trade her life for anything, but there was something she would change. She wished Cassie’s father would had been different, a better man, or a different man. She smiled as she studied her daughter.

She thought about the similarities that Cassie and Chad held. She wondered if Cassie had any resemblance to Jay. Her eyes widened as she realized what she was thinking about. She was confused. She hadn’t thought of her partner as anything except a friend, so she wondered where the thought came from.

“Cass, lets go buy ice cream,” Erin called out. She let out a small laugh, when she heard small footsteps running in the apartment. She slowly got up and got their jackets, it was a cold Chicago morning.

Cassie ran back with her shoes on, wanting ice cream. She could not have enough ice cream. “I weady,” she said, standing in front of her mother.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Erin questioned, a small smile on her face.

Cassie looked down at her Mickey Mouse shirt, small jeans, her tiny Vans. She didn’t see anything missing.

“It’s cold,” Erin said, smiling.

Cassie pointed at the sweater in her hands. Erin nodded and helped her daughter put on her sweater. She then ran to the door, waiting for her mother to open it.

Erin walked slowly towards the door, wanting to mess with her daughter. Cassie grabbed her mother’s hand, as they walked to buy ice cream.

**Chicago PD**

Voight knew Erin didn’t have a day off, and that she should had been working, but he also knew she needed to be with her daughter after her night with Chad.

“Erin’s not coming?” Halstead asked, as he looked at the vacant desk.

“We’ll call if we need her,” he said, not entirely liking the question he asked.

Halstead nodded, not saying anything else.

Dawson looked up, after feeling the tension. “Isn’t Cassie’s birthday coming up?”

Voight nodded, as he tore his attention from Halstead and gave it to Dawson.

“Yeah, Erin is thinking of a party,” Voight answered, nodding his head.

“Tell her if she needs any help, I’m here,” Dawson said, turning his attention to his work.

Halstead didn’t say anything, knowing Voight would bite his head off.

He looked away and started to look through his work.

**Chicago PD**

Cassie squealed. She was gripping the chains. She laughed full of joy.

Erin smiled, as she pushed her daughter in the swing.

“Igher!” Cassie exclaimed, as she kicked her legs.

“You’re going to fall,” Erin said, chuckling, as she pushed a little more, but not too much.

“No! Igher!” she shouted, giggling loudly again.

“Erin?” someone, a male, called. Erin turned and looked at the man.

**Chicago PD**

“Whe’s mommy?” Cassie asked, as she looked at the man in front of her.

“She’s getting food for you,” he said, as he smiled down at the girl in front of him. They were at a pizza restaurant and Cassie was drawing on the kids’ menu.

He looked up and saw Erin, talking to the cashier. There was a smile on his face as he watched her talk to the other woman.

“Uncle Jay, why here?” the three year old asked, not looking up from her artwork.

“I wanted to hang out with my niece,” Jay answered, as he turned his attention to the cup in front of him.

“Uncle Jay, you know daddy?” the girl asked, turning her hazel eyes to the man in front of her.

Jay shook his head. “You were born before I met your mother.”

“Oh,” Cassie said, disappointed.

**Chicago PD**

Erin?” someone asked behind her. She turned, and found the one man she was avoiding.

“Chad? Wh-what are you doing here?” she asked, not wanting him to know about her daughter,  _their_  daughter.

“I came here for food,” he answered, as he looked around, to see why she was there.

“I uh, I have to go,” she muttered, as she turned. He grabbed her wrist, stopping him.

“We need to talk,” he told her, not letting go of her.

“Let me go,” she told him, as she tried to pull her hand back.

“No, we need to talk,” he said, glaring at her.

“Let her go,” Jay said from behind her.

Chad released Erin, and glared at the other man.

“Who are you?” Chad asked, clenching his fists.

“I’m her friend,” he said, wishing he could say more.

“Yeah, we’ll I’m her boyfriend,” Chad responded, getting closer to Jay, as if to threaten him.

“Mommy,” Cassie whispered, scared of the man. She held tightly to her mother’s legs.

“Who’s that?” Chad asked, as he stared at the small girl.

“My daughter,” Erin whispered, as she pushed the small girl behind her.

“Who’s the father?” he asked, still studying the girl.

No one answered. Erin didn’t want him to know, and Jay didn’t know who he was.

“Who is the father?” Chad demanded, glaring at Erin.

Jay didn’t like how he was looking at her, so he said the first thing in his head. “I am.”

Chad looked at the other man, looking for a resemblance. Chad smirked, and turned to Erin. “You were always a slut.”

Erin’s body shook in anger.

“She looks like she’s four. You were cheating on me, weren’t you? You were such a hypocrite,” he sneered, his eyes accusative.

“She’s yours, you dick,” she spat, as she picked Erin up and walked away.

Jay looked at the other man, and punched him. Once he saw Chad fall to the ground, he followed Erin and Cassie.

He found them outside. Erin was putting Cassie in the back seat. He could tell she was tensed.

“Erin, are you going to be okay?” he asked, when she closed the door. The window was opened, but Cassie wasn’t paying attention.

“Yeah, I’m just going home. Tell Voight I can’t go in today. Tell him what happened,” she said, as she walked to the driver seat. She opened it and turned the car on.

“Drive safe,” Jay said, feeling disappointed that the day ended.

“Jay,” she called out. He turned and looked at her. “Thanks for lying.”  
  
“Anything for you and Cass,” he answered as he walked to his car. He had a smile on his face.

**Chicago PD**

“Mommy,” Cassie whispered, as Erin drove them home.

“Yeah,” Erin answered, not looking away from the road.

“Is Uncle Jay daddy?” she asked innocently.

“I wish,” Erin whispered to herself, before answering her daughter. “No.”

“Da man daddy?” she asked again.

Erin’s grip tightened on the steering wheel.

“Yeah,” she whispered lowly.

Cassie grinned, finally getting a father. She finally met him. She was happy.

Erin’s eyes filled with tears. She never wanted him to know. She didn’t know what he was going to do with the information he got. She was scared he’d take her away from her.

“I love you baby,” she whispered, wiping her eyes. She turned and saw that Cassie was asleep.

She hoped, she wished something good would come from Chad knowing. She just hoped.

 


	5. Shoulda Just Called For Help And Ran Like Hell That Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Whiskey by Jana Kramar.

 

Her phone wouldn’t stop ringing. She knew who it was. She knew why it was ringing, but she couldn’t open it. She didn’t want to deal with it.

She rubbed her eyes in annoyance. Chad’s name kept flashing. Erin didn’t want to work, she wanted to stay home and protect Cassie, but she had to work. She couldn’t stay home all the time. She had to work at some points.

**Chicago PD**

“So he’s the father?” Jay asked, as Erin drove them to a drug bust.

Erin nodded. She figured Jay deserved to know about Cassie’s father, and her past with him after he had tried to protect her daughter.

“I met him a few years ago. He was charming, and nice. We started dated, then he changed. I didn’t break up with him until he was arrested for drug trafficking. I found out I was pregnant three days later. I never told him,” Erin answered, looking at the road ahead.

“And only Voight knows?” he asked, looking at the woman next to him.

Erin nodded. “He was the first person I told. He was with me through everything. He was there when she was born, every birthday. He plans to be there the first day of school.”

“Sounds nothing like the Voight I know,” Jay said, as they stopped in front of the house.

“Let’s do this,” Erin said, shaking her head.

**Chicago PD**

Erin was driving home. She wanted to get to Cassie as quickly as she could. She thanked Laura for babysitting, gave her the amount needed, and then walked to her car with her daughter. Cassie was grinning, as she talked about what she did with Ava.

“We played. Mommy, where’s Daddy Jay?” Cassie asked, as she played with a teddy bear in front of her.

Erin smiled softly before looking at her daughter. “I’ll invite him to dinner.”

Cassie threw her hands up and giggled. She then started to talk about anything and everything.

Cassie was skipping as they walked to their home. Erin stopped when she noticed the mat on the ground was moved. She turned and bent down to talk to Cassie.

“I want you to go to Ms. Samantha’s apartment, and ask her if you can call Voight. Tell him to come here. Can you do that for me baby?” Erin asked, as she looked at her room.

Cassie frowned but nodded. Erin gave Cassie her phone and told her to go. Erin got up and walked to her room. Her hand was on her gun, as she opened her door, it was unlocked.

“You never answered my calls,” someone said, as she entered the space. Erin groaned inwardly, as she turned on the lights. Chad was there, sitting on her sofa. He was holding a picture of Cassie.

“How did you get in here?”

“I have my ways. Where is she?”

“Get out.”

“Where is my daughter?”

“Get out!”

“Not until you tell me where my daughter is!”

“She’s  _not_  your daughter!”

“You  _bitch_. She’s mine! She’s my kid!” he snapped, glaring at her. “I want to meet her!”

“You’ll meet her when you stop being an ass,” Erin told him as her hand twitched near her gun.

“She’s mine!” he shouted, his face red from anger. During the screaming match, he had been inching closer to her, until they were right in front of each other.

Erin slapped him. “Get the hell out!”

“Where is she?!” He raised his hand, and she got her gun.

“Get out, or I’ll shoot you. I  _won’t_  miss.”

Chad glared at her. He took a step away form her, and tensed up.

“Get, out,” she told him slowly. He stormed out of the room, and left. Erin let out the breath she was holding, and placed the gun on a table that was next to her. She closed her eyes.

“Are you okay?” Voight asked, as he stood at the door. His eyes showing pure concern. Next to him was Cassie. The three-year-old was holding his hand. She looked scared, and it hurt Erin to see her daughter like that.

Erin nodded and opened her arms for the child. She inhaled deeply, taking in her daughter’s scent. She looked at Voight. “Can you stay the night? You can sleep in my room.”

Voight shook his head. “I’ll get the couch. Go sleep on your bed with Cass.”  
  
“Thank you,” Erin whispered, as she picked up her daughter. She hugged her father and headed to her room. She hugged her daughter as they laid there.

  
“You okay mommy?” Cassie asked, as she looked at her mother with big hazel eyes.

Erin smiled and nodded. “I love you sweetie.”

“I love you too mommy. Bestest mommy ever,” she said, as she snuggled closer to her mother.

Erin held her close and closed her eyes, letting sleep take over.

**Chicago PD**

Chad was in a bar, drinking. He was thinking of a way to get his daughter, the daughter he was deprived of. He wanted to hurt Erin, like how he was hurting. He didn’t notice two men sitting next to him.

“She’s mine. No bitch can take her away from me,” he muttered, as he swallowed his drink. He signaled the bartender for more.

One of the men made a comment.

“I love my kids. But I would never take them from their mother. They need their mother more than they need their father,” the one on his right said.

“What if she didn’t let you see her?” Chand asked, frowning.

The man on his left shook his head. “I would make it right for the mother. I would make her see I’m good for the kids. I would show her I’m a great man,” the man on his left responded.

“She’s a  _bitch_. She doesn’t deserve her,” Chad snarled, as he got another drink.

“I would be careful about what you say,” someone said from behind him.

Chad got up and turned around. He was face-to-face with Jay Halstead. Chad glared at him. He was about to swing, but the man on his right, now his left, stopped him.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said, raising his eyebrow.

Chad huffed and stormed out. Jay glared at him before turning to the other two men.

“Thanks,” he said, as he gave them a small smile.

“Anything for Erin and Cassie,” Dawson told him, while Ruzek nodded.

Jay nodded, hoping Chad would stay away.


	6. It’s Times Like These You Learn to Love Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Times Like These by Foo Fighters.

 

Erin smiled, as Cassie talked to her “Daddy Jay.” She hadn’t corrected her daughter. She secretly liked the sound of the title. Jay was pushing the swing, and she could hear Cassie squeal, and she shouted for Jay to push her higher.

“He’s good with her,” Voight said, as he sat next to her. Erin looked up and smiled at her father. She nodded and looked back to her daughter.

“She always wanted a dad,” Erin responded.

“I don’t advise it, but Halstead isn’t a bad guy. I don’t want for Cassie to lose another father figure,” Voight stated, as he smiled at his grandchild. He never thought he would get a granddaughter in his life, but he did and he loved her with everything he had. She was the best little girl, and he wondered if she was like a younger Erin.

Erin smiled as she turned her attention back the two others in the playground. Cassie had gotten off the swing and started running, while Jay chased her. “He’d make the perfect father.”

**Chicago PD**

“Do you think your mom likes flowers?” Jay asked the three year old. Cassie sat in front of him, thinking silently. Voight and Erin decided to bet food. There were tables at the park, and they placed their things in one.

She nodded. “Ask Gwanpa Hanky fiwst. Pewmission like on tv,” she said, with a grin on her face, like she found a cure for cancer.

“You’re right. Why don’t  _you_  ask him for me?” he offered, grinning at the younger girl.

Cassie shook her head. She gave him a dimpled smile. “No, you ask. No my job.”

Jay chuckled, and placed his finger over his lips as Erin and Voight returned with food, pizza.

“Mommy, I saw doggies,” Cassie squealed, as she pointed at a spot away from them.

“We’ll check when you finish your food,” Erin said, as she opened at box and placed a small slice on the table.

“No now,” she answered, pulling Erin’s shirt, “they leave.”

Erin gave the men a small smile and let her daughter pull her away.

“I know what she did,” Voight said, as he looked at Jay.

“I would assume so,” Jay responded, a little nervous.

“Well, ask,” Voight ordered him, a smirk on his face. He liked that Jay was nervous.

“Would you uh, allow me to take Erin out?” he rushed out, his body heating up.

Voight made eye contact with him. His smirk grew as he noticed Jay’s discomfort grow.

“If you break her heart, both of theirs, lets just say you’ll really regret it,” he answered, as Erin and Cassie returned. Cassie was gushing about the puppies, and Erin was listening intensely. Jay knew right then and there, he wanted to be in their lives forever.

**Chicago PD**

Erin opened the door, and let Jay enter. Cassie was asleep in his arms, with her head on his shoulder.

“Just put her in her room,” Erin told him, smiling softly.

He nodded and walked to the three-year-old’s room.

Erin walked to her kitchen, and started to make coffee for them. He returned and sat down on a chair and watched Erin. He smiled as she grabbed two cups and poured coffee in them.

“Erin?”

Erin hummed in response.

“I asked Cassie and Voight, and they gave me permission. Would you like to have dinner with me?”

Erin turned around and raised her eyebrow. “Like a date?”

He nodded. He was nervous and just stared at her, waiting for an answer, any answer.

She grinned and nodded. “I would love to.”

He let out a breath and laughed. He shook his head, as took the cup she was holding out to him. “Friday, seven o’clock.”

“Can’t wait.”

**Chicago PD**

“I can’t go?” Cassie questioned, as she looked up at him with her big hazel eyes.

“Next time,” Erin promised, hugging her daughter.

“Gwanpa Hanky comin’?”

Erin shook her head. “Uncle Tony is going to babysit with you.”

“Eva?” she asked, excited. She liked hanging out with Eva.

She smiled when Dawson’s car stopped in front of the house. He honked and the door unlocked. He got out and hugged the little girl.

“Thanks for babysitting Antonio,” Erin whispered, as she gave him a side hug.

“No problem. Eva has wanted to play dress up with Cassie for a while now. She’s been wanting her to come over,” the man answered, grinning. He ruffled the small girl’s hair. She whined and moved away.

“Be good, okay. I’ll pick you up later tomorrow morning,” Erin told her daughter. Cassie nodded, as she moved her pink backpack. Erin moved back, and watched as Cassie placed her backpack and teddy bear in the car. She walked back and kissed her mother’s cheek before entering the car. She sat on the car seat in Antonio’s car, and buckled herself up as much as she could before letting Erin take over.

“Bye mommy,” she said, as Antonio started the car and started to drive away.

**Chicago PD**

Jay stared at her, his eyes wide. He had a small smile on his face, as he watched her lock her door.

“You look beautiful,” he told her, giving her a small smile.

Erin blushed and thanked him. She walked to his car, as he followed her, a goofy grin on his face.

They drove in silence. It was a comfortable silence. The radio was playing softly in the car. She watched the scenery as it passed by. They stopped at his house, and she frowned. She didn’t know what they were going to do, and she turned to him, confused.

“I wanted to cook you dinner. I know it’s not advised to do, but I wanted to do something special for you,” he said, shyly.

“It’s okay. I like it,” she answered, giving him a small loving smile. She followed him into the house and towards the kitchen. The scent of their dinner was mouth watering. There were two candles on the table, plates and wine glasses. It was so simple, it was perfect. She smiled as he rushed to the stove and continued with the cooking.

“Dinner is almost ready. The wine in right there,” he said, pointing at a spot next to the refrigerator. She helped him, enjoying her time.

…

Erin laughed, as she sat on the couch with Jay. She had the wine glass in her hand, and leaning against him.

“She did that? What did he do?” he asked, chuckling.

“He laughed it off. It was her first birthday. She didn’t know any better,” Erin answered. She had told him the story of Cassie’s first birthday, and how she threw cake at Voight, hitting his face.

“Do you have pictures?”

“Of course. I don’t want to miss these moments.”

“You’re doing a great job with her,” he complemented, looking straight ahead.

“She makes it easy. And I have help. I don’t know how it would be if it weren’t for all of you,” she answered, looking up at him. She saw a small smile appear on his face. “Antonio told me about Chad. How you threatened him.”

Jay looked down at her. “I couldn’t let him threaten your lives.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, her hazel eyes connecting with his green ones. She leaned towards him and kissed his cheek. She placed the wine glass on the table and situated herself so that she could use his chest as a pillow. He rubbed her arm, as he held her close. “I’ll keep you, both of you safe,” he whispered, before closing his eyes, a big smile on his face.

 


	7. We Cannot Shake This Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Do Not Hang Your Head by Elizabeth & the Catapult.

Erin had finished showering, and was sitting in the kitchen, Jay wanted to take Cassie out for some ice cream, and her daughter loved spending time with Jay. Erin thought about Jay, and wondered what they were. She knew he was her best friend, and they had gone out a few times. Sometimes it was with Cassie, sometimes it was just the two of them. She wondered if she was his girlfriend, She stood up and made lunch for the others. They should be coming home soon.

Erin smiled, thinking of their small family. Cassie had the family she always wanted. She had her mother, Grandpa Voight, Uncles Antonio, Adam, Olinsky, and Kevin, Aunts Laura and Kim, and cousins Ava and Diego, and lastly, a father in Jay.

Her mind went to Chad. She had loved him. She had thought she could change him, but she didn’t. She couldn’t change him. He didn’t want to change. She was a fool to trust him.

_Erin walked into her apartment, and smiled when she saw candles and flowers around her. She looked at her bedroom, and Chad stood n the doorway. He had a bouquet of flowered. She walked up to him and pulled him for a kiss._

_She pulled away, but kept her arms wrapped around his neck. “What is all this for?”_

_He gave her a crooked smile. “No reason.”_

_He pulled her into the room, and closed the door behind them._

_When Erin woke up the next morning, Chad was gone. He left a note saying he had to take care of business._

A few weeks later he was arrested, and a few days after that, she found out she was pregnant. She thought about where she would be if he had never been arrested. She wondered if how Cassie’s life would be. She wondered if Chad would have been a good father.

Erin’s phone started to ring, startling her. She reached for it and placed it against her ear. “Hello?”

“ _Hi mommy. I miss you,_ ” Cassie said from the other side of the phone.

“I miss you too baby. Are you being good?”

“ _Yes Mommy. I’m always good_.”

“I know. I’ll pick you up soon, okay. Be good to Aunt Laura,” Erin told her.

“ _I will, mommy.”_

Erin hangs up and smiles. She closes her eyes and thinks about her little girl, her pride and joy. She couldn’t pick a better daughter.

There was a knock on the door. She didn’t know if she wanted to answer it. She thought about Jay and Chad. It could be one of them. She was hoping for the former. She didn’t know what the latter would do.

She opened the door, and Jay stood there. He had a smile on his face, as he handed her a coffee. She thanked him and took it.

She let him in, and they sat at the table. He placed a bag on the table, and took out the breakfast he got. They ate in silence. She noticed that Jay was watching her. He had a smile on her face. She blushed.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, picking up her coffee.

“That I’m a lucky guy. I have you and Cassie in my life,” he said, as he wiped the coffee smudge off her lips. She grinned and leaned forwards, capturing his lips with hers. Jay laughed, and Erin pushed him away.

He got up and threw her onto his shoulder. She squealed, as she demanded for him to let her down.

He laughed, as he ran around.

“You’re going to drop me!”

“Do you trust me?” he asked, when he stopped running.

“Depends. Are you going to let me down?”

“No. But you trust me anyways,” he told her. He moved around the house, and got their things. She squirmed, trying to get him to let her down, but he wouldn’t budge. He just chuckled, and carried her out of the room. He sat her in his car, and moved to the driver seats.

He pouted when he saw that Erin climbed over to the driver seat, and was ready to drive.

“When do I get to drive?” he asked, after he got to the passengers seat.

Erin looked at him with a smirk. “When you grow up.”

Jay huffed, as he playfully glared at her.

She laughed and drove them to work.

**Chicago PD**

Chad was watching. He wanted his daughter. He wanted her back. He was going to get her back, and Erin was not going to do anything about it. He was willing to try again, to get Joint Custody. He was willing to let both of them (Erin and Chad) be in Cassie’s life. But if Erin didn’t agree, then he was going do whatever it took to get her back. He promised her, and himself that, as he headed away.

**Chicago PD**

The day was uneventful. Cassie was asleep in her room, while Erin got ready for bed. She had a smile on her face. She was finally happy. There was a knock on the door. Her smile grew bigger, as she walked to open it.

“I told you we’ll be fine,” she said, as she opened it. Her smile was wiped off when she saw Chad there, a smile on her face.

“Really?” he asked, a grin on her face.

“What do you want?” Erin asked, angrily.

“You know what I want. I want  _my_  daughter,” he demanded.

“Your daughter? You don’t even know her!”

“Whose fault is that?”

“Yours,” Erin answered, glaring back.

“I want my daughter,” he sneered, getting angry.

“You’re not going to get her. She’s not your daughter, she never was. Your name is not even on her birth certificate. As far as she’s concerned, you’re nothing,” she told him, ready to strike him.

“I don’t care. She’s going to be mine. I warned you,” he threatened, as he walked away.

Erin watched him go. She felt someone pull her shorts. She looked down and saw her daughter.

“I thought you were sleeping,” Erin whispered, as closed the door and locked it.’

“I heawd scweamin’,” she answered, rubbing her eyes.

“Come and sleep with mommy,” Erin said, as she looked down.

Cassie nodded and raised her arms, wanting to be picked up. She picked up the girl and headed to her bedroom, turning off all the lights on her way. Cassie rested her head on her mother’s shoulder and fell asleep.

Erin placed the girl on her bed, and watched her daughter sleep, not sure what to do about Chad’s threat. She wanted to tell Voight, but she didn’t want to become depended. She frowned, not sure what to do. Soon she became too tired to do anything, and she let sleep take over.


	8. What Do I Stand For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Some Nights by fun.

 

“Yes, I have everything,” Jay said, as he held the phone to his ear.

“ _Are you sure? Cause I can go back_ ,” Erin told him.

“No. Go do what you have to do.”

“ _Make sure you don’t tell her anything_.”

“I won’t. She’ll have so much fun, she’ll forget you even exist,” Jay told her, a smile on his face.

“ _Just what every mother wants to hear_ ,” she told him. He could hear the smile in her voice.

“We’ll be okay. Just get the things, and we’ll see you later,” Jay told her.

“ _Fine, just let me say bye to my daughter_ ,” Erin told him.

“Got it,” Jay said, as he pulled the phone. He looked at the small girl. “Cass, your mommy wants to talk to you.”

Cassie grinned as she took the phone. “Ello? Hi mommy. Otay. Hmmm. I love you too. Bye mommy.” She handed the phone back and smiled.

“Trust me?” Jay questioned.

“ _Yeah. I’ll let you go. See you Jay_.”

“See you.”

He hung up the phone. Jay looked at the little girl standing next to him. Erin wanted to buy birthday supplies for her daughter’s party. She also wanted to get her present. Jay volunteered to babysit Cassie. And he wanted to spend the day with his girlfriend’s daughter. He hoped that in his future, he would be more than Uncle Jay, more than her mother’s boyfriend.

“What do you want to do?” Jay asked Cassie.

Cassie looked up at him with happy eyes. “I wanna buy momma sometin.”

“To the mall we go then,” he said as he picked Cassie up and ran with her in his arms. She giggled as she felt the wind hit her face.

“Faster Daddy Jay,” she squealed, laughing.

Jay stopped for a second, a grin appearing on his face, before taking off.

Behind some trees stood someone, glaring at them, angry. He pushed himself against a tree and went to his car, with his friend following him. “Soon.”

**Chicago PD**

“Are you sure she’s going to be okay?”

“Yes.”

“But what if something happens.”

“Halstead is okay. Cassie is going to be okay with her.”

“But it’s  _Halstead_. He’s clueless.”

“Do you not want to spend time with me? We can go get Cassie and I can take you home. I mean, if I’m that bad of a company.”

“It’s not that. It’s just that Cassie is never without you, me, or Laura.”

“Seriously, you’re worse than me, and I’m her mother,” Erin muttered, shaking her head.

Voight shot her a glare. “Well  _I’m sorry_  for worrying.”

Erin laughed. “It’s okay to be worried, but I trust Jay.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Voight muttered, as he glared at the road in front of him.

“She’s going to be fine. Trust me, she’s going to come back to us unharmed,” Erin told him, grinning. “Now lets go get her birthday present.”

Voight smiled softly, as he nodded. “You’re going a wonderful job, you know that right? I’m so proud of you.”

Erin grinned, as she looked at her father figure. “I’ve had a lot of help.”

“I’m still proud.”

Erin looked down, and then looked out the window, happy with her life for once.

**Chicago PD**

“What do you think your mom would like?” Jay asked, as he stood in the middle of a jewelry store. He looked down and didn’t see Cassie. He was about to about her name when he saw her standing in front of a saleswoman. He walked up to her, and scolded. “You can’t just run off like that.”

“I’m sowwy. But mommy like that one,” she told him, pointing at one of the many necklaces.

“She does?” Jay asked, as he looked at it.

Cassie nodded quickly, a huge smile on her face.

“She’s cute. Is she your daughter?” the saleswoman asked, smiling at the little girl.

Jay looked down at Cassie, who was grinning up at him. He smiled at the saleswoman and nodded. “She’s my daughter.”

Cassie wrapped her arms around Jay’s legs and jumped in place. She was happy, so happy.

“We’re looking for something for my wife.”

The saleswoman smiled and started to tell them everything about the necklace Cassie had chosen.

**Chicago PD**

Chad watched, as Cassie held the  _asshole’s_  hand. His daughter was touching that man, calling him  _daddy_. He wasn’t his father. He didn’t share anything with him.  _Chad_  did. That was  _his_  daughter.

It was all that  _bitch’s_  fault. She never told him he had a daughter. She broke up with him. She didn’t deserve the kid. And he was going to show her how it felt to lose a kid.

He followed them as they walked to the food court. Cassie told him she wanted pizza. Chad watched, glared as Jay bought food for  _his_  kid.

Chad walked up to Jay and bumped his shoulder.

“Hey man,” Jay snapped.

Chad turned around and glared at Jay.

Jay pushed Cassie behind him. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s a public place. I can be here if I want to be here,” Chad told him, a smug look on his house.

“I told you to stay away from Erin and Cassie!”

Chad smirked, as he looked at the little girl. “Hey, I’m your daddy.”

Cassie grabbed Jay’s jeans and held on tightly. She shook her head, scared.

“You’re  _not_  her father. You’re nothing to her!”

“And you think you’re important? You’re not,” Chad told him, clenching his fists. He was ready to swing. He wanted to hurt Jay. That bastard took his daughter.

“I’m more than you are,” Jay growled, standing protectively in front of Cassie.

Cassie had tears in her eyes. She was scared. She didn’t want her Daddy Jay to get hurt. She didn’t want anyone to get her. She didn’t like that the man in front of her was telling her that he was her father.

“Leave, now,” Jay told him, as he moved forward to get in Chad’s face.

Chad smiled and put his hands up. He took a step back and gave Jay a wink.

Jay looked back at Cassie, but he didn’t see her. He looked around, but she was nowhere to be found.

She was gone. Cassie was missing.

 


	9. I Never Meant to Hurt You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Cleanin’ Out My Closet by Eminem

 

_Jay looked back at Cassie, but he didn’t see her. He looked around, but she was nowhere to be found._

_She was gone. Cassie was missing._

Jay looked around, franticly. His heart was pounding in his chest, as he tried to find Cassie.

“Cassie! Cassie!” he shouted as he looked over people‘s shoulders. He didn’t see anyone or anything. He ran his hand through his hair. He went back to the place he was in, but Chad was also gone. He disappeared.

Jay punched a wall, angry with Chad, angry with the situation, angry with himself.

He couldn’t believe what he had just lost Cassie.

**Chicago PD**

_Jay looked over Erin’s shoulder. He saw a little girl as her wallpaper. Erin had just gotten off the phone with Antonio’s wife, Laura. And she was talking about babysitting. Jay was curious, and he wanted to know about his partner._

_“Is that you as a baby?” Jay asked, when Erin put both her hands on the steering wheel._

_“No,” she told him, as she started driving._

_“You’re sister?”_

_Erin chuckled, shaking her head._

_“Who’s that?”_

_Erin looked at him with a smile. “She’s my daughter, Cassie.”_

**Chicago PD**

Jay rushed to the surveillance room. He used his badge to get through. He told the men in the room that he wanted to see the surveillance from the spot he was in. He saw himself arguing with Chad. He saw himself push Cassie back.

He saw Chad give a thumbs up to someone. He saw a man walk up to Cassie and pull her away. He saw Cassie struggle, but the guy just picked her up and walked away.

Jay frowned. Why didn’t anyone do anything? Where was everyone when this was happening? He looked at the security and they weren’t paying attention.

Jay, agitated, then looked at the cameras in the parking lot. He saw a man put Cassie in a car. Jay looked at the time of the video and rushed out when he realized it was just happening.

Jay saw Chad smile at him as he entered the car. Jay ran faster. His lungs burned as he sprinted after the car. It sped up and left Jay behind.

Jay shouted as he stopped. He gasped for air, as he heard the wheels of the car.

Jay knew what he had to do. He had to call Erin and tell her. He had to do the one things he never wanted to do and break her heart.

**Chicago PD**

_Jay stood in front of the door. Jay had been Erin’s partner for two months, and there was just a little he knew about her. All he knew was that she didn’t have a great background, Voight treated her different, and the thing he just found out, Erin had a daughter. HE wondered if the father was around._

_After two months, Erin decided to let Jay meet her child. Erin trusted Jay_

_He knocked on the door. He smiled when he heard the door unlock. He stared at Erin, who was smiling back. Behind her, he saw her daughter._

_Jay, who had on hand behind him, bend down and smiled at the little girl. “You must be Cassie. Your mommy talks a lot about you. She told me you like bunnies?”_

_Cassie nodded her little head, as she gripped her mother’s pants._

_Jay showed Cassie what he had behind him, and it was a stuffed bunny. Cassie’s eyes widened. She moved forward, but stopped herself. She looked up at her mother, not sure what to do. Erin smiled and nodded. That was all it took._

_Cassie rushed forward and yanked the bunny out of Jay’s hands. She hugged the bunny close._

_“What do you say?” Erin asked, as she smiled at her daughter._

_“Tank you,” she told Jay, as she gave him a hug._

_“Jay, meet Cassidy. My daughter.” Erin told him, as she watched her daughter talk to the bunny._

_“She looks just like you. A Mini-Erin,” Jay told her, as he stood up._

_“People say that.”_

_“She’s beautiful.”_

_Erin smiled at Jay._

_“Do you mind me asked, who is her father?”_

_Erin frowned. She didn’t expect that. “He’s not in the picture.”_

_“His loss,” Jay told her as Cassie jump to Jay and asked for a name to name the bunny. Jay named names, and grinned. He then took the bunny, and chased Cassie with it._

_Erin watched, smiling. She knew she made a good decision in trusting Jay,_

**Chicago PD**

Chad glared at the girl. Cassie hadn’t stopped crying, and screaming for her mom. Chad was getting annoyed. Chad had told her that her mother was gone. She wouldn’t see her anymore, which just made everything worse.

“Mommy!” Cassie cried.

Chad rubbed his face. “I’m your dad. Don’t you want to spend time with me?”

Cassie stopped crying, but her tears were still streaming down her face. “Daddy?”

Chad smirked. “Yes, I’m your dad. I’ve missed you. We’re going to spend a lot of time together.”

Cassie didn’t do anything, just stared at Chad. She always wanted a dad and now she got one, but she wanted her mom too.

Chad stood up and started to leave the room, a room he got ready for his daughter.

“It’s you and me Cass, you and me against the world. I’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered as he left the room, leaving Cassie alone.

**Chicago PD**

“ _Hello?_ ” he heard Erin’s voice. He could hear the smile in her voice, and knew that it was going to be gone in a few seconds. And it was all going to be his fault.

“Erin, s-something happened,” Jay whispered, his voice breaking in the progress.

“ _Wh-what? What happened? Jay, is Cassie okay? Please tell me she’s okay,_ ” he heard her panicked voice.

Jay closed his eyes as the next few words exited his mouth. “Someone took Cassie.”

“ _What?_ ”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I tried to get her back, but it was too late. I’m so sorry Erin,” Jay told her, his tears slipping down his face.

He got no answer. All he heard was a slam. He can only assume that the phone fell. He knew there was not much he could expect. What does a mother do when her child was kidnapped?

Jay let out a sob, as he fell to his knees. He let Erin down, he let himself down, he let Cassie down, and all he could think of is not seeing Cassie again. Of Erin losing her child.

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed, into the phone, but he didn’t hear anyone pick up the phone. “I’m so sorry.”

 


	10. I Know My Heart’s Too Drunk to Drive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, On My Way by Lea Michele

Erin smiled when she heard her phone ring. She had gotten everything she needed for the party. She answered her phone.

“Hello?”

“ _Erin, s-something happened,_ ” Jay told her. She heard his voice break. Her heart started to pick up. She assumed the worst.

“Wh-what? What happened? Jay, is Cassie okay? Please tell me she’s okay,” Erin asked, panicking. She could feel her tears in her eyes.

“ _Someone took Cassie,_ ” Jay said.

Erin felt cold. She felt like someone took her heart out and ripped it in two in front of her. She could feel the tears streaming down her face. “What?”

“ _I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I tried to get her back, but it was too late. I’m so sorry,”_  Jay cried.

Erin didn’t feel the phone slip through her fingers. She didn’t hear Jay apologize over the phone.

**Chicago PD**

_“Would you like to hold her?” the doctor asked, as he held a bundle in his hands._

_Weakly, Erin nodded. She moved a little, not enough to hurt herself. She took the bundle in her arms. She could feel Voight standing next to her. He was staring down at the face._

_“You did so good. I’m so proud of you,” Voight whispered, as he placed a hand on Erin’s shoulder. “She’s so beautiful.”_

_Erin looked at him with a tired smile. “She is.”_

_“Have you thought of a name?” a nurse asked._

_Erin nodded slowly. “Cassidy. Cassidy Ridley Lindsay.”_

_Voight smiled, as he looked down at the girl._

_“Hi Cassie, I’m your mom. I love you.”_

**Chicago PD**

Erin let out a sob. Her daughter was taken. She was kidnapped, and there was nothing she could do about. She wasn’t even there.

She looked down at the cracked screen on her phone. Cassie’s picture was staring back at her.

Voight looked over with a smile, but frowned when he noticed Erin’s state. He rushed to her. He looked down at the phone and picked her up.

Erin started to cry, repeating  _no_ , over and over again. Voight pulled her in a hug, as he rubbed her back. He didn’t know why she was crying.

He waited until Erin had calmed down. When she did, he looked at her. He had never seen her so broken.

“What happened?”

“She’s gone,” Erin whispered, a new wave of tears ready to fall. She shook her head.

“What’s going on Erin?”

“Someone took her Hank. Someone took my daughter.”

_**Chicago PD** _

_“I swear she’s ready!” Erin exclaimed, as she sat in front of her daughter._

_Voight looked over at them with a smile. Erin called him telling him she had a surprise. He had been waiting for an hour, and still nothing._

_“C’mon Cass, you can do it,” Erin encouraged, a grin on her face._

_Voight was proud of his “daughter.” She was an amazing woman, and even more amazing mother._

_“Mmm,” Cassie sounded, as she clapped, bouncing in place._

_Voight leaned forward, waiting._

_“You can do it,” Erin whispered, as she stared at her daughter with so much love._

_“Mmmamma,” Cassie said, as she bounced even more._

_“She talked! She said her first word!” Erin exclaimed, as she shot up and took Cassie in her arms. She kissed her daughter’s cheeks, a huge smile on her face._

_Voight stood up, and hugged Erin and Cassie. Erin closed her eyes when she felt his arms around her. That was her family. It was all she needed._

**Chicago PD**

“I don’t know what to do,” Erin whispered, after Voight led her to the car. He had called everyone. He told him what was going on, and that they needed to look for her. Erin hadn’t said much. She just sat in the seat, staring at nothing.

“We look for her. And we get her back,” Voight told her, as he reached over and grabbed her hand.

“Chad, he took her. He threated to take her. I know it was him. Who else would take her?”

Voight nodded, having thought the same thing.

“We’ll get her, I promise,” Voight whispered.

Erin nodded. She knew Voight would stop at nothing until he had Cassie back, but she was scared at anything could happen to her little girl and she can’t protect her.

**Chicago PD**

Voight left Erin home. He told her he would handle to team, and he wanted her to take it easy. He didn’t want her to get hurt or in trouble. She nodded, not listening to him. Once he left, she grabbed her broken phone and called Chad.

It rang and rang, but no one answered. After five calls, she got angry and got her car keys. She was not going to wait for a clue. She was going to go out and search for her daughter.

**Chicago PD**

_“Happy birthday Cassie,” Justin Voight exclaimed, as he handed his niece a balloon. The only person he seemed to care about was Cassie. He fell in love the moment he saw her. After being arrested a few times, he decided to change, to set a better example for Cassie._

_Cassie giggled, as she grabbed the string and tried to place it in her mouth. Justin grabbed it and tried it around her wrist. He smiled as he sat her on his lap._

_“Look Cass, mommy has your cake,” Justin said, as he pointed at Erin, who was holding a small cake._

_Erin placed it in front of her daughter and Justin. Voight stood next to her, smiling. They all sat around the table. It was just the four of them._

_Erin took a picture as Cassie and Justin blew out the candle. Justin quickly took the candle off the cake as Cassie slammed her hands onto the cake._

_Justin laughed when he saw Cassie grab a piece a cake and launched it towards Voight._

_Erin’s eyes widened, as Voight wiped the cake off his face. He looked at Cassie. His face was neutral._

_Justin was still laughing, so Voight got some cake and smashed it on his son’s head._

_Erin quickly took Cassie and ducked as Justin and Voight started a cake-throwing fight._

_Erin smiled at her daughter. She was changing people around her, and it was for the better._

**Chicago PD**

Erin drove around the home she shared with Chad. Her phone was ringing. She looked down and saw Jay’s name on her phone. She looked at it for a second before pressing ignore. She couldn’t talk to him. Not when she blamed him. Not when she was in pain and could only blame him.

She wiped her eyes, and continued to drive, ignoring the ringtone as Jay called her again.


	11. And I Can See You Starting to Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Give Me a Sign by Breaking Benjamin

Erin rubbed her eyes, as she stared at the road in front of her. She didn’t know what time it was or where she was. All she knew was that she had to find her daughter. She had to get Cassie back.  
  
She heard her phone ring again. She made no movement to answer it. All she did was park at a local café and ordered the drink with the most caffeine. While she waited, she looked at her phone for the first time.  
  
Her eyes watered when she saw the familiar wallpaper. She ran her finger through the cracks of the screen, as she unlocked her phone. At the bottom of the screen was the call app, and on the corner was the number 45. She had 45 missed calls.  
  
She looked through them, to see who had called her. Nineteen of the calls were from Jay, fifteen were from Voight, three of them were from Olinsky, and five were from Dawson, one from Ruzek, and two from Laura. She had a few voicemails, but she deleted them all. She couldn’t talk to anyone, she couldn’t.  
  
She took the drink and left a tip. Quickly, she drank the caffeine filled drink and went back to searching.

**Chicago PD**

Jay looked at his phone. Erin hadn't been answering her phone. We went to her place, but she wasn't there. He had gone by every few hours, but it was always the same. Erin wasn’t home.

Jay had gotten worried. He hadn’t heard from Erin, he hadn’t seen her. He knew she was angry. She was hurt.

Jay took out his phone. He called Voight.

Voight told him that he left Erin at her house. He didn’t know where she was. She wasn’t answering his phone calls either. Jay rubbed his eyes, as he listened to Voight.

He could hear the worry in Voight’s voice. Jay knew he was worried about Cassie, and by extend, Erin. Voight then told him to listen.

“I don’t blame you,” Voight told the detective. “It could have happened to anyone.”

Jay didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say.

“Erin may be mad. Don’t take it personally.”

“I know,” Jay whispered.

“Tell me when she gets home or she calls you back.”

Jay responded and hung up.

He thought about what he heard. Voight didn’t blame him, and if Erin did, it was just because of the moment. Jay leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes.

**Chicago PD**

_Erin was in the kitchen. She was cooking dinner. Jay was in the living room with Cassie. The toddler was talking to the bunny. Jay was watching her, a smile on his face._

_“Pway,” Cassie said, as she handed Jay a teddy bear._

_Jay got down and took the bear. He started to move the teddy bear as if were walking._

_Cassie giggled. She started to move the bunny._ _  
_ _  
_ _Jay looked up and saw Erin watching them with a smile._

_Jay grinned and went back to playing with Cassie._

_“Dinner is ready,” Erin told the two. She laughed when she saw Cassie and Jay race to the kitchen. Jay_ fell _down, but Erin knew he was letting Cassie win._

_Jay stopped and stood in front of Erin. He grinned at her._

_Erin shook her head and pushed him towards the table._

_Jay watched Erin as she fed her daughter. He smiled at the mother in Erin._

_Soon, they put Cassie to bed and sat on the couch. In Cassie room, the young Lindsay was asleep, hugging the stuffed bunny._

_“So, you’ve met my daughter,” Erin told him, as she smiled._

_“She’s just like her mother,” Jay stated, and smiled at her. He had a twinkle in his eyes._

_“She’s my life,” Erin whispered, shooting the door a quick look._

_“You’re my partner, so she’s under my protection,” Jay told her, as he wrapped his arm around her._

_Erin moved closer and took in the safety._

_“I’ll protect her. I’ll help you,” Jay whispered as he laid there in silence._

**Chicago PD**

Jay quickly rubbed his eyes. To get rid of the tears that where threatening to fall. He exited his car and walked towards Erin’s apartment. He was going to wait for her. He was going to get her to talk to him even if he had to stay all night.

**Chicago PD**

Erin walked up the stairs. She was tired. She felt like she had the whole world on her shoulders. When she reached to top of the stairs, she saw someone sitting there.  
  
She stopped and watched as Jay stood up and looked at her. He opened his mouth, but then closed it. He then looked at her, but she wasn’t looking at him.  
  
“You’ve been ignoring my calls,” he whispered, as he looked to the ground.  
  
Erin looked at Jay, no expression on her face. He could see the tired look on her face. The circles under her eyes.  
  
“I know.”  
  
“Erin, I’m sorry.”  
  
“I trusted you. I thought she could be safe with you. I guess I was wrong,” she told him, her voice full of anger.  
  
“Erin—“  
  
“No. You were supposed protect her. You promised, and you let me down,” Erin told him, glaring at him.  
  
“I know. I’m sorry,” Jay whispered. He felt like a screw up. He let her down, and that made him feel worse.  
  
“Jay, please don't. She's not your daughter.”  
  
“But I wanted her to be.”  
  
Erin looked at him, anger and tears in her eyes. “Don't say that. You don't get to say that. You're the one who let her get kidnapped. I want you to leave.”  
  
“Erin--”  
  
“Screw you Jay,” she snapped. She walked around him and went to her apartment.  
  
Jay stood there, tears threatening to fall. The girl he loved had just broken his heart and it was all his fault.  
  
Jay sighed and left.  
  
Erin slowly walked to her room, towards her bed. There, in the middle of the bed was Bugs, Cassie's stuffed bunny.  
  
Erin crawled onto the bed, grabbed the bunny and held it tight. Within seconds, she started to cry.


	12. Fix a Smile, But You Burn It Hot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Hotblack by Oceanship

Erin walked into work the next day. Her friends watched her, waiting. The men were doing all they can to find Cassie, but they hit dead ends. They knew that it was destroying Erin, and they weren’t expecting to see her, not while her daughter was missing.

Dawson saw Erin walk to the coffee room, and decided to follow her. He wanted to talk to her, to see where she was.

“Hey,” Dawson whispered, a little wary.

Erin looked at him and gave him a small smile. “Hi.”

“How are you doing?”

Erin stared at him, not sure what to tell him. She just looked at the coffee pot she was making. “I’m fine.”

“Really?” Dawson asked, shock in his voice.

Erin nodded. “Yeah. We’re going to find her. Everything is going to be okay.”

Dawson frowned. He didn’t believe a single word coming out of her mouth. He had been where she was. His son had been kidnapped, and not once did he act like he could deal with it. Not once did he act like he was  _fine_.

“Erin, I know how you feel. The anger, the guilt, everything,” Dawson whispered, as he moved closer to her.

“If you think I’m going to snap at you like you did to me, think again. I’m not going to. I can deal just fine,” Erin told him, as she walked away from him.

But Dawson knew, he knew that she wasn’t fine. She was just faking it, hoping to believe it herself.

He watched as Erin went to her desk and sat down, ready for work. He frowned, wanting to help her, but not knowing how if she wasn’t going to let him. He went back to his desk, more determined to find Cassie.

**Chicago PD**

Jay sat in the car with Erin. Neither had said a word. Jay didn’t want Erin to get mad, so he kept his mouth shut. He just watched as Erin drove to their destination. Voight had told him that there was lead. Someone had seen Chad, and the two young detectives were sent to question him.

Erin looked over at Jay quickly. She kept her eyes on the road in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” Jay whispered.

It was quiet for one second. Jay thought Erin was going to ignore him, but she responded after a second. “I know.”

Jay looked over at her and saw that she was still staring at the street in front of her.

“I didn’t mean to lose Cassie. I kept an eye on her, but then Chad appeared, and it got out of control.”

Erin nodded. “Yeah, he does that.”

“I’m really sorry Erin.”

“It’s okay,” Erin responded, not looking at Jay.

Jay frowned. It sounded like she forgave him, but he didn’t know for sure. He knew that Erin was hurting, but no one saw that hurt. All they saw were small smiles here and there. No one knew what she was feeling.

“Erin, we’re going to find her,” Jay told her, as he reached over and grabbed her hand.

Erin looked down and slowly pulled her hand away. “I know.”

Jay heard her voice, and it didn’t sound confident, which hurt him. He knew he had to make it right. He had to find Cassie.

**Chicago PD**

The lead was a bust. They got no answer. Voight told Erin he wanted to talk to her when she arrived to the station. She sat down and started at her father figure, waiting for him to start talking.

“How are you kid?” he questioned, as he pulled a chair to sit in front of her.

“I’m okay,” she responded, as she looked at her hands.

Voight had noticed that. Every time someone asked Erin if she was okay, she would look away. She would be lying.

“It’s okay to show emotion,” Voight whispered.

“I’m fine.”

“Erin, don’t shut us out. We’re trying to help you. We want to find her too.”

“I know. And I’m telling you, I’m okay,” Erin responded. She clenched her teeth, feeling angry.

Voight sighed, as he stared at her daughter. “I helped raise her too. She’s my granddaughter.”

Erin didn’t respond. She just looked up at him.

**Chicago PD**

Jay and Antonio sat in front of each other. “She’s not okay. No matter how many times she tells us.”

“I know,” Antonio responded. He started at the younger detective. “How are you?”

“I’m  _not_  fine. It’s my fault Cassidy is gone. It’s my fault Erin is like this.”

“It’s not though. It’s not you fault. Chad wants you to blame yourself. It’s the type of person he is. He wants you to blame yourself, and push Erin away. He doesn’t want her to be happy,” Antonio told him.

Jay looked at him. “It’s working. Erin won’t look at me. She blames me, even if she says she doesn’t, she does.”

Antonio nodded. “Losing a child does a lot to a parent. I remember getting angry with Erin after she got hit in the head with a steel pipe. I knew she was trying hard, but I still didn’t have Diego back. You can’t take it personally. Erin cares about you a lot, but Cassie is her whole world. And now, Erin’s world is crumpling down.”

Jay stared at his friend. He nodded slowly, understanding what he was saying. Everything Antonio was telling him made sense. And he hoped that it was true.

Both men looked at Voight’s office when they heard the door open. They both watched Erin hugged Voight, grab her things and leave.

Voight looked over at them and gave them a nod. “She’s taking the day off. She needs it.”

Jay and Antonio nodded, knowing that she did need it.

“She’s going to be okay, eventually. All we have to worry about is getting Cassidy back.”

Jay nodded, as he stood up, ready to go back to work.

**Chicago PD**

Erin walked up the stairs, towards her apartment. Her hands shook as she tried to get the key into the hole. She rubbed her eyes. Slowly she opened the door and walked inside. Once the door was closed, she leaned against the door it. She stared at the hall, expecting to see her daughter, but there was nothing. Tears appeared in her eyes, as she slid down the door.

She sat on the ground, as she started to sob. The façade she had set up, that didn’t fool anyone had taken a tow, and everything was released. She cried, as she wished for her daughter. All she wanted was to have her daughter in her arms again. That was all she wanted.

 


	13. But I’ll Get a New One and Come Back For the Hope That You’ve Stolen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Monster by Paramore

 

Jay took a deep breath as he knocked on the door. He knew that she was home, and he was hoping he would be able to talk to her. He was trying everything he can to find Cassie. He knew that it was all he could do. He waited for a few more minutes before the door opened. He gave Erin a small smile, but she didn’t smile back. She just stared at him.

“Can we talk?” he asked, as he placed his hands in his pockets.

Erin shook her head. “We have to get to work.”

“Erin, please.”

“Do you know how  _hard_  it is to look at you? To know that  _you_  could have done something to protect Cassie? Just don’t say anything Jay. I know you’re sorry. I know you did what you could, but it’s hard,” she told him, as she walked out of her apartment. She locked her door and started to walk away.

“I’m doing everything I can to get her back,” Jay exclaimed, as he watched her walk away.

Erin stopped. She didn’t turn around. She just stood there for a second, before walking away. She was going to snap at him, but she didn’t. She couldn’t say anything, and she ended up walking away.

Jay sighed and followed her. He entered his car and drove to work, not noticing that Erin went another way.

**Chicago PD**

Voight watched his detectives, minus the only female and they worked. Everyone was working hard to find the girl they all loved. He knew that Jay was taking it hard. He knew Jay loved the girl as if she were his own daughter. Voight knew he would go crazy if something would have happened to Erin.

“Erin is going to be out for the day,” he told the men, as he stood in front of them. “What do we know?”

Antonio looked at Jay before answering. “Chad Hartman and a partner took Cassie from the park. That was their getaway car.” Under Chad and Cassie’s picture was a car.

“Chad has not made any purchases,” Ruzek added.

“What is it Alvin?” Voight asked, when he noticed his friend thinking. He knew his friend had something.

“Is there a hideout, a place that Chad values? From his childhood?”

Voight frowned, trying to recall any moment Erin told him about Chad. He shook his head. “Maybe Lindsay knows, but she hasn’t said anything.”

Alvin nodded, as he continued his research on Chad, trying to find something, anything.

Voight looked at his phone, worried about Erin. He hoped she was okay, wherever she was.

**Chicago PD**

Erin sighed, as she watched the kids playing. She wished her daughter would just run up to her, telling her that the game of hide-and-seek was fun. That she was a great hider.

She wiped her tears. She thought about Chad, and the first time she ever met him.

_Erin was running in a park. She always ran there in the morning. She had liked the scenery. She was looking at the trees when she crashed into someone. She let out a gasp, as she caught herself before she fell. She looked at the guy she had crashed into, and began to blush._

_“I’m sorry,” he told her, as he smiled at her, “I’m Chad Hartman.”_

_Erin smiled back. “I’m Lindsay, I mean, Erin Lindsay. And its okay, I was watching where I was going.”_

_“I know.”_

_Erin frowned at him. If he had known, why didn’t he move?_

_“I wanted an excuse to talk to you. I always see you running here, and I’ve been meaning to talk to you. And what better way than the_ crashing move _.”_

_Erin laughed as she shook her head. “Well, you’ve met me, now what?”_

_“This is the part I ask you for coffee, and you say yes.”_

_“I say yes?”_

_“You wouldn’t turn me down,” he told her, a smile on his face._

_“Okay, yes,” she told him._

Erin wondered if she regretted saying yes. She did, in a way, Her eyes widened as she sat up. She remembered something, something that was significant.

She remembered a house Chad had showed her. He told her how much the house meant to him.

_Erin looked at the small white house in front of her. She raised an eyebrow, as she looked back at Chad, not sure what it meant._

_“You bought us a house?”_

_Chad laughed and shook his head. “No. My great grandfather built this house. It’s been passed down since then. I just wanted to show you the place I thought we could raise our kids together. I always wanted to have a little Erin or a little me running around here.”_

_Erin looked at him, surprised. She had a smile on her face, as she slowly moved to him and kissed him._

Chad had told her that there was no other place he would have his kids live. It was either that place, or none at all. She stood up and took out her phone. She clicked on the familiar name.

“I know where he’s keeping her,” she told the other person.

“ _Come here. We’ll make a plan,_ ” Voight responded.

“No, I’m going to go get her. I’m  _not_  wasting any more time,” she snapped, clenching her fist.

“ _It’s an order Erin._ ”

Erin growled, as she hung up her phone. She went to her car and drove to the station.

**Chicago PD**

“Erin knows where Chad is keeping Cassie. She is coming here, and then we’ll go together. We’re going to get Cassie back.”

Jay stared at him, feeling hope for the first time. He felt his phone vibrate. He took it out and saw it was a message from Erin.

**_I don’t care what Voight has to say. I’m going to get Cassie. Are you with me? –Erin_ **

Jay looked at his phone with a frown. Then he looked at Voight, who was trying to see the best way to get to the house.

Jay sent a quick message.

**_I’m in. –Jay_ **

 


	14. And It Pains Me More Than You Will Ever Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, How Do You Like It by Jem

Voight watched his detectives; especially the one invested the most in the case. It was a few minutes into the planning when he noticed that she wasn’t paying attention. He frowned, knowing that she would have wanted to do it her own way. He wondered if he should had let her, but then decided against it.

Voight had been paying the most attention to Erin, and didn’t see Jay leave. He didn’t know that Erin and Jay had their own plan, and were going to go through with it.

“We’re wasting time,” Erin snapped, as she stood up. She stormed away, and no one stopped her. Voight thought that she was going to be alone, and that she wasn’t going to do anything stupid, so he let her go.

**Chicago PD**

Erin entered the car, and stared at Jay who was in the driver seat. She told him to drive, and he took them to the house.

“We’re going to get her back. And then Voight is going to kill us,” Jay commented, as he stared at the road ahead.

“I don’t care. As long as I have Cassie back,” Erin responded, as she stared at the passing house, remembering the way to the house. “Take a right.”  
  


Jay nodded. He looked at her, and then the street. He was going to help get Cassie back, he promised himself that.

**Chicago PD**

Cassie looked at her birth father. She didn’t like him. He was mean, and had a short temper. She looked at the man next to her birth father. Her father told her it was her uncle. She didn’t like him either.

Cassie wanted her mom and her daddy Jay and Grandpa Hanky. She wanted her uncles Tony, Olly, and Adam. She just wanted to go home, but the mean man wouldn’t let her go. She was getting mad. It had been three days since she was taken, and those three days were horrible.

She slept in a small room. There was a mattress on the ground. She had one blanket to sleep with.

Cassie started to cry. She wanted to go home.  
  
“Shut that kid up,” Chad’s partner snapped, as he glared at the young girl.

“Cassidy, please. I’m trying to make this a good home for you, but you have to want it too,” Chad tried, in a sweet voice.

Cassie shook her head, and started to cry more. She screamed for her mom. Chad rubbed his face.

“Stop!” He shouted. Cassie looked at him, scared. Her eyes were wide. She was afraid. “I am your father. You will treat me like you treat your  _mother_. Or you will be punished, understand?”

Cassie looked at him, scared. She slowly nodded, as she wiped her tears.

**Chicago PD**

They were across the street. Erin took her seatbelt off. She reached for the door, when Jay stopped her. She looked over at him, impatiently.

“You can’t just go there. We need a plan,” Jay told her, his voice cautious.

“Watch me,” she snapped, as she moved to get out of the car again.

“Erin, don’t be stupid. You go in there. You’re unprepared. What happened? You get hurt, I get hurt, or worse, Cassie gets hurt. We need a plan.”

Erin sighed and sat back. “What should we do?”

Jay looked at the house.

“Chad is going to expect you, but not me. We can surprise him. Keep everything in the first floor. He probably has Cassie in the second floor.”

Erin nodded. “Let’s go.”

“Got my back?”

Erin looked at him. “Always.”

Jay and Erin rushed to the house. They searched for an opened window, and found one. Jay helped Erin through. He waited for her to find a place to go to, before going in himself. He went the opposite direction. He stopped when he heard Chad’s voice.

“ _I don’t know how that bitch did it. The kid is annoying._ ”

“Freeze,” Jay told him, as he aimed his gun to Chad. He saw Chad smirk.

“So you found me. Is Erin with you? My brother will get her,” he said, as he grinned at Jay.

Jay walked to Chad and when the other man least expected it, decked him.

Chad rubbed his jaw. “So you do have strength. Erin did like a man who could through a punch, but wait, Erin doesn’t like you.”  
  
Jay knew what the other man was going. He was egging Jay on, wanting to fight, but Jay was not going to fall for it. He was not going to let the other man get to him. He waited, listened, but he heard nothing from Erin. He frowned, worried about his partner.

**Chicago PD**

Erin searched the house. She was about to enter a room, when she heard someone behind her. She turned around and clenched her teeth.

“Erin Lindsay, fancy meeting you here,” the man said, as he grinned at her.

“Tyler Carter,” Erin responded, as she glared at him. He was the man that had gotten her into drugs when she was younger. He was a friend of Charlie. And Erin had slept with him for drugs when she didn’t have any money. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m helping my little brother. I hear your daughter is my niece,” he told her.

Just then, Erin cursed her luck. She was never able to get rid of her past. It was always coming back to get her. Erin and Tyler stared at each other. Each had their guns aimed at the other.

They heard a crash. Tyler let his guard down for a second, and Erin took advantage. She shot Tyler’s leg. He fell in pain. She rushed over and handcuffed him. She looked through the doors and found nothing. There was just one door left. Taking a deep breath, she opened it.

Inside was her daughter. She ran to her and pulled her into her arms.

Erin cried, as she hugged her daughter close.

“You’re okay baby. We’re going home.”

Cassie nodded. She hugged her mother back. Erin pulled away.

“Stay here. Hide. I’ll come get you when its over, okay?”

Cassie nodded, as she watched her mother stand up. Erin closed the door and rushed to find Jay and Chad.

She found them in the living room. They were fighting, neither had guns or weapons. Jay was on top of Chad, punching him.

Erin gripped her gun and walked to them. Jay stopped when he saw her. He stood up and took a step back. He watched as Erin raised the gun and aimed it to Chad’s head.

“Erin,” he whispered, when he realized what Erin wanted to do.

“You took her from me. You-you deserve to die. I should just kill you right now,” Erin spat, her finger twitching over the trigger.

Chad smiled, blood all over his teeth. “Do it.”

“Erin, don’t do it. Don’t stoop to his level. If you do it, he won’t be punished for what he did. He will have taken the easy way out.”

Erin glared at Chad. “I want to make him pay. He ruined  _my_  life.”

“Erin, don’t do it.”

Erin shook her head, as she gripped her gun tighter and used it.


	15. It’s Hard to Know That You Still Care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Dead Hearts by Stars

 

Erin slammed her gun against Chad’s head. She watched him as he fell on the ground. “You’re not worth it.”

Jay took a step towards her. He gave her a small smile. She nodded at him and walked towards the room Cassie was in. She turned back to see Jay handcuffing Chad. She smiled softly and rushed to the room.

She finally felt completed when she had her daughter in her arms again.

“I love you so much. You’re my whole life,” Erin told her daughter, as she held on.

**Chicago PD**

Erin watched as the cops entered the room. She held Cassie close. Jay was standing next to her, waiting for their team to arrive.

Cassie started to struggle when she saw Voight. Erin let her go and she watched as her daughter ran to Voight and hugged him. She started to tell him that she missed him, and that she loved him.

Antonio walked to the pair, his face holding disappointment. “You guys are idiots. Why did you leave without us?”

“I needed to get Cassie back. We got out okay,” Erin answered, as she started at him, waiting for him to say more.

“I’m not going to say I wouldn’t do what you did, but you should have told someone. What if something happened? No one would have been there to help you.”

Erin and Jay nodded. They knew they were in trouble. Erin watched as Voight walked to them. He stopped in front of Erin and Jay. He was glaring at both of them.

“I’m taking you and Cass home,” he told Erin. He shot a glare at Jay, before letting Cassie down and walking into the house.

“That went better than I thought,” Jay commented, a smile on his face.

“Yeah, you don’t have to go home with him.”

Jay looked at her with a sad smile. He told her he would see her later and left.

“Mommy, where’s Daddy Jay goin’?”

“He’s going to his own home baby, like we are,” Erin said, as she picked up her daughter and kissed her cheek.

“I missed you mommy,” Cassie told Erin.

“I know. I missed you too, so much.”

Cassie snuggled up to her mother and closed her eyes.

**Chicago PD**

“You are  _so_  stupid,” Voight snapped, as he drove Erin and Cassie home. They were on the back seat. Erin hadn’t let Cassie out of her sight since getting her back.

“I know,” Erin whispered, as she smiled at her sleeping daughter. She ran her hand through Cassie’s hair.

“Don’t ever do that again. When there was a call to the address, I thought the worst. I was so worried. I thought I lost one of you.”

Erin looked at her father figure. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help wait.”

“At least you took help. It would have been worse if you went alone.” Voight said. After a few seconds of silence, he continued, “Does this mean you forgive him?”

Erin looked out the window, “I don’t know.”

“He’s been blaming himself enough,” Voight told her, as he parked in front of Erin’s apartment. “He loves Cassie as much I love her. I think it’s time for you to forgive him.”

Erin nodded at what Voight was telling her. “Do you want to come in? I wasn’t the only one that lost her. You lost her too.”

Voight nodded, as they all got out of the car. Erin carried her daughter to the living room and laid her on the couch. Voight went to the kitchen to call for take out. Erin

sat on the ground and watched her daughter sleep, thinking about Voight’s words.

She stood up and went to get pillows and blankets for the small sleepover the small family was going to have in the living room.

Voight went to the living room and sat there, watching his daughter and granddaughter. A smile on his face. It was his life, and he was happy.

“We should do something as a family. Justin misses his niece.”

Erin looked up and nodded. “Yeah, Cassie is going to get the family she deserves.”

**Chicago PD**

“Thanks for meeting with me,” Erin said, as they sat down in a small fast food restaurant.

“It’s no problem,” Jay responded, as he looked at Erin’s daughter. “I’m glad we found her.”

“Jay—“

“I’m sorry.”

They both let out a small laugh. Jay continued. “I’m sorry. I lost Cassie. I was in charge and I lost her. It was my fault,” Jay told Erin.

The female detective shook her head. “It could have been anyone. This is what Chad wants. He wants me to blame you. He wants you to blame yourself.”

Her partner nodded. He looked at Cassie. “I’m still sorry. These last few days weren’t easy for you, and I was to blame for that.”

“I forgive you. I know I wasn’t exactly nice, but I forgive you Jay.”  
  
Jay smiled, as he looked at her. He remembered the first time they worked together.

_Voight looked at his team. Antonio Dawson, the man who arrested him, Alvin Olinskey, his friend, Julie Willhite, Dawson’s partner, Jay Halstead, Dawson’s friend, and Erin Lindsay, Voight’s surrogate daughter._

_Voight looked at the man who was going to be Erin’s partner. The man who was going to be with Erin a lot._

_Erin and Jay were sitting next to each other. They were the only people who didn’t know each other, and Voight wanted them to get to know each other. It was the first time they met._

_Erin listened to Jay, who was telling her about his time in the army, and what he had been doing._

_Erin told him a little about his past. Not a lot about her past, but enough to get his trust._

_Erin knew then that she had a good partner. She knew she could trust him._

Erin looked at him. “I’m happy Voight paired us together.”

Jay nodded, as he stared at her hazel eyes. He leaned forward and kissed her. “Ii missed you,” he whispered.

Erin smiled. As she pulled him back for more.

 


	16. Give Me Love Like Never Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song, Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran

 

Justin smiled, as he ran around with Cassie in his arms. He had missed her in the days that she had been taken. Justin and his family were having dinner. He had finished first, and took Cassie from Erin’s hands.

“Careful with her,” Erin told him, as she smiled at her surrogated brother.

Justin waved her and continued to run around the room.

Justin sat on the couch and placed Cassie on his lap. “You’re my favorite kid, you know that?”

Cassie looked at him with wide eyes. She grinned at him.

“You’re like your mom,” he said, as he placed his lips on Cassie’s forehead.

_“You’re pregnant?” Justin questioned, as he sat in front of Erin. Next to him was his father._

_Erin flinched, but nodded. She was staring at her hands. She made no contact with the Voight men._

_“Is it Chad’s?” Justin asked, as he leaned forward._

_Again, Erin nodded. She looked up when she saw Hank stand up and walk away. She blinked her tears away._

_Justin stood up and sat next to her. He pulled her into his arms and smiled. “This kid is going to have the best uncle. Don’t worry about dad, he’ll come around.”_

_Erin nodded, as she leaned into his hug. “Thank you.”_

The second Justin held Cassie in his arms, he was gone. He wanted to become the man his niece could look up to. He smiled, as he looked at his niece.

“I love you Cassidy, you know that?”

“I love you too Uncle Justin.”

**Chicago PD**

Voight sat in a fast food restaurant with Jay. Erin and Cassie were out for the day with Justin. Voight wanted to talk to Jay.

Jay sat there, nervous. He knew Voight wanted to talk to him about Erin and Cassie. But the older man still scared him.

Jay looked at him, waiting for him to talk.

“I don’t like this,” Voight started, as he looked at his detective in the eye.

Jay looked at him, worried. He didn’t like how that statement sounded.

“I can see how you affect them. You make Cassie happy. She gets what she wants around you. She gets a father she always wanted,” Voight told him, “and Erin, I’ve never seen her so happy.”

Jay watched him, not sure what to say. He knew that statement sounded positive.

“I don’t want to approve this, but I can’t keep Erin and Cassie from happiness, especially after the last few day.”

Jay nodded. “That’s all I want too. I just want them to be happy. “

Voight nodded. “Just know, you hurt them, and no one will find your body.”

Jay looked at him, his eyes wide. He nodded slowly. “I won’t hurt them. I will do everything in my power to make sure they are protected.”

Voight stared at him, before looking away. He approved what he said. He was going to let it happen.

**Chicago PD**

“He threatened you?” Erin asked. She was sitting in front of Jay. She had a smile on his face.

Jay nodded. “It’s okay though. I promised him I wouldn’t hurt you, and it’s a promise I plan to keep. As long as I’m in your life, I will never hurt you or Cassie.”

“You’re sweet,” Erin commented.

Jay shrugged.

“Thank you,” Erin whispered.

“For what?”

“For not giving up. For not holding the fact that I was a total bitch over me.”

Jay smiled and reached over to grab her hand. “You’re daughter, the one person who means more to you than anyone in this world was taken from you. I understand Erin. Any mother would have felt the same.”

Erin smiled, as she leaned over the table and placed her lips against hers.

Their dated ended soon. He took her home. He walked to her door.

“I had fun today,” she told him, blushing.

“I did too.”

Jay smiled as he kissed her cheek. He told her he would pick her up the next morning. Erin, grinning, entered her apartment. She let out a laugh when she saw Justin asleep on her couch. She got a blanket and covered him. She walked into her room, and found Cassie there, asleep on her bed.

Cassie slowly opened her eyes, and smiled sleepily. “HI mommy.”

Erin walked up to her and brushed her hair out of her face. “Go to sleep. I’ll be back,” she whispered, as she covered her daughter with her bed covers.

Erin quickly wiped off her make up and changed into comfortable close. She got on the bed and held her daughter close.

“Mommy, never leave,” Cassie whispered in her sleep.

Erin grinned. “I’ll never leave you baby.”

Erin kissed her daughter’s head and hugged her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Erin slowly fell asleep, and pulled her daughter closer.

**Chicago PD**

It was Cassie’s fourth birthday. All Erin’s friends and family were around her, as they celebrated her daughter’s birthday. Erin was watching her daughter play with Antonio Dawson’s children. She felt someone walk behind her.

Erin smiled at Jay, as he wrapped his arm around her. She watched Cassie run around.

“She finally has a family she wanted,” Erin commented, while leaning against Jay.

He nodded. He kept his hand in his pocket. His finger running over the diamond of the ring he had. There was a smile on his face, as he stared at the woman who held his heart. Soon, he would use that ring. When the time was right, he would get to officially, be a part of the family he wanted to be in.

When the time was right, he would make Erin his wife and he would adopt Cassie.

Jay took his hand out of his pocket. He leaned over her shoulder and kissed her cheek. She giggled, and sighed, loving the safely she felt when she Jay held her close. Jay wrapped his arms around her waist.

“We’re going to be a family. You me, and Cassie.”


End file.
